


The Ocean has its Secrets

by matchst_ck



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Brief mention of Mickey and OMC, Domestic Fluff, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, In Love, Kid!Ian, Kid!Mickey, M/M, Merboy!Ian, Mickey and Ian should always be happy beans, Ocean, One Shot, Romance, Sex, Soft beans in love, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, just a little bit, they grow up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-01
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2019-01-07 21:18:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,506
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12240792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matchst_ck/pseuds/matchst_ck
Summary: The water is still enough that he can see the slow sweeping of something iridescent, greens and blues and some pinks and purples are all shining through the water and Mickey doesn’t understand at first until he follows the slow, swishing colours up and up until they meet the pale skin of a torso. He realises what he’s not seeing are legs and what he is seeing is—“A tail?” He looks back at the kid who is now looking at him openly. “You got a tail!”---Mama Milkovich takes her babies on a trip to the ocean where Mickey meets his best friend Ian for the first time and is utterly fascinated by the merboy and his tail. AKA the one where Mickey falls in love with Ian in all forms, even fishy ones.





	The Ocean has its Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> I ask you to suspend your disbelief for this one folks. I can't explain it but I hope you enjoy it.

“Which side do you want Mickey-Mick?” Iggy waves the ice cream precariously in his face as Mickey looks it over.

“What’s that?” Mickey points at the glittery green side.

“That’s sherbet, it’s kinda sour.” Iggy scrunches his nose up as he leans in to lick up a dribble making its way down the side of the cone. “Gotta be quick Mick, s’melting!” He grins as he watches his little brother bounce up and down on his worn sneakers, making little trenches in the sand.

“Okay, okay! I want the other side.” Mickey points at the ice cream, leaning in as Iggy turns it to him. He licks it, shocked at just how cold it is. It tastes good though, and the little things on it are crunchy and tasty. It’s the first time their mom’s been able to afford them ice cream. Shame they have to share though. 

“Hundreds and thousands are good, huh Mickey?” Iggy grins at him while he digs his tongue into the other side. 

It isn’t long before they’re down to the cone and Iggy gives his little brother the first bite. Mickey spits it out onto the sand. “Ugh, nah. Don’t like that bit.”

“More for me then.” Iggy shrugs as he devours the cone in three bites.

Mickey rubs the back of his hand over his mouth, he feels sticky everywhere as he heads back over to where his mom is sharing her ice cream with Mandy, watching his brothers splash each other in the ocean. 

It’s the first time she’s brought them to the beach. Mickey doesn’t know it yet, but this won’t be the last time he visits this beach, it won’t be the last time his mother takes them on holiday. It’s not often she can scrape the money together, or that Terry goes off long enough for them to leave the house and take the old, battered Chevy pickup that barely fits them all in off on their road trip.

(Mickey likes being in the Chevy, even though he’s normally squashed between Iggy and Jamie, because his mom lets them all play ‘I Spy’ and Mickey always wins because he thinks of the best things.)

“Mama.” Mickey presses his palms together and has to pull them apart with some force. “Mama!”

“What is it my Mickey?” His mom is concentrating on Mandy in her lap, she’s only a toddler so she’s struggling to make sure most of the ice cream goes in Mandy’s mouth, not on her knock off Gap t-shirt she picked up from Goodwill.

“I’m sticky mama.” He shows her his sticky palms, pressing them together again for emphasis.

“Well look there Mickey, the ocean’s right there with enough water to clean your hands and your face.” She smiles at him then, blinking a few times when Mickey’s eyes widen.

“No mama, no!” He cries out. “It’s scary mama.” He shakes his head at her.

“Tch, my Mickey isn’t scared of the ocean! My Mickey is five and he’s a big boy and he can go and wash his hands and his face in the ocean. Just try not to get your sneakers wet or that won’t feel good the rest of the day.” His mother tilts her head at him and raises an eyebrow, something Mickey will emulate in later life.

Right now it just feels that like that eyebrow is telling him off.

“Sticky Mickey!” Mickey scowls as Jamie laughs at him. “He’s too much of a scaredy cat mama, thinks he’s gonna get eaten by a shark.”

“No I don’t!” Mickey doesn’t, the thought has never occurred to him but he thinks he might drown and that scares him a lot because he knows he can’t swim. None of them can swim.

“Well you should.” Jamie leans in to poke him in the tummy. “Cause sharks like eating five year old babies the best.”

“Eh, stop teasing him. There are no sharks Mickey, nothing to be afraid of.” Larisa flicks sand at one of her eldest tsking between her teeth. Jamie dodges easily.

“I’ll take him mama, there’s some rock pools in that cave--” Iggy points a dirty finger over the beach a ways. “We can go ‘sploring.”

“Rock pools are for babies.” Jamie sniffs. “Me and Colin aren’t babies, we’re going to the ocean properly.”

“No one invited you anyway!” Iggy shakes a fist at them as Mickey nods in agreement, gripping Iggy’s jean’s pocket with his little hand.

“Yeah, s’me and Iggy!” Mickey shouts, still licking the stickiness from around his mouth.

“Okay guys, no more arguing. You can all go wherever you want, just be careful and look after each other.” She turns to Iggy and Mickey now, smiling. “Thank you Viggo--” Larisa smiles fondly as Iggy shakes his head vigorously at being full named. She looks down to find Mandy’s head drooping against her breast, it’s clearly nap time. “I’ll be right here waiting for you all. Be careful, my babies.”

“C’mon Mick.” Iggy grabs his hand and starts tugging Mickey through the sand towards a cave. It’s dark and deep and Mickey can hear dripping water and he’s scared but at five he’s already learned not to show that on his face.

“Hello!” Iggy shouts just inside the mouth of the cave and they hear it echo, once, twice, three times before it dissipates. “Fuck that was cool!”

“S’bad word Iggy.” Mickey slips his hand fully into Iggy’s pocket now, pulling himself closer to his brother’s side. Iggy reaches out and pats his brother’s dark head of hair. 

“Sorry Mickey-Mick. I’m going to go down there--” He points his finger down into the dark of the cave. “You wanna come with me?” 

Mickey shakes his head, eyes wide. “No Iggy, no I don’t like it.”

Okay but I’m going.” He pulls Mickey away from his side, holds his brothers tightly fisted hands as he leans down the short distance to face Mickey. “You just wait here okay? I’ll be back soon I promise. I’ll bring you something cool back.”

“What if you get lost Iggy?” Mickey looks at him now, baby blues anxious. 

“I won’t get lost! I’m the best ‘splorer ever!” He grins and it makes Mickey chuckle enough that his tightly clenched hands loosen. “I’ll shout when I’m on the way back, so you know I’m coming. Then you don’t gotta be scared it’s something else coming out of the cave.”

“What you gonna shout so I know it’s you?” Mickey asks, seriously. 

“Umm.” Iggy thinks, grinning as he throws arms out wide. “Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can!”

That succeeds in making Mickey full on giggle. He loves Spiderman. “Okay, don’t be long though.” He watches as Iggy heads deep into the cave. 

He looks around at the cave. It’s not all the scary when he thinks about it, there’s a couple of shallow pools of water and then a deep stretch to his right that runs out the mouth of the cave and joins the ocean. It looks deep enough to hold some exciting things so he heads over carefully, stepping from wet rock to wet rock. He kneels on the rock, heedless of the damp seeping through his jeans. He leans over, looking at the water and realising it’s a lot deeper than he thought. 

“It’s ok, it’s ok.” He mumbles to himself as he leans in, cupping a handful of water in his palms and splashing it all over his mouth as he rubs the stickiness away. He’s in the process of washing his hands under the cool water when he sees something orange pass by his hand. He hasn’t got long to process the thought before a head pops up right out of the water beneath his hands.

He squeals, falling back and only narrowly misses falling in the water. He blinks repeatedly at the sight of a ginger haired kid, head and bare shoulders the only thing above the water. Mickey’s brain comes to the only conclusion it deems possible.

“Are you drowning? Are you okay?!” He pulls himself back over to the kid, leans over and grabs him beneath the armpits, intent on pulling him out so he doesn’t die. 

“Don’t gotta do that.” The kid speaks and his musical lilt halts Mickey’s movements completely. “I’m not drowning.” Those green-blue eyes look up at him. “I’m swimming.”

“You can swim?” A pang of jealously hits Mickey in the tummy but it’s overtaken by intrigue. He wishes he could swim. “How do you swim?” He leans over then, intent on looking at what the kid is doing under the water with his feet and that’s when he sees it. 

The water is still enough that he can see the slow sweeping of something iridescent, greens and blues and some pinks and purples are all shining through the water and Mickey doesn’t understand at first until he follows the slow, swishing colours up and up until they meet the pale skin of a torso. He realises what he’s not seeing are legs and what he is seeing is—

“A tail?” He looks back at the kid who is now looking at him openly. “You got a tail!”

The kid just blinks at him before a grin comes over his face and it makes Mickey’s breath catch at how it makes his face light up. The kid reaches up a hand to push the wet hair from his face before Mickey sees that shiny tail come up, hears a loud flick and then—

“Ah!” Mickey blinks as he’s splashed with a heap of cold water. He can feel it dripping from his hair, dribbling from the end of his nose but he can’t be mad, not when it makes the ginger haired kid laugh, little hands splayed across his mouth to stem the noise. 

“That’s cold.” Mickey grins.

The kid chuckles, nodding before he pulls himself up on the rock a little more looking Mickey over. “You don’t gots a tail.” He prods Mickey then, low on the calf. “What’s this?”

“These--” Mickey sticks them out and wiggles them then. “These are legs.”

“Legs.” Ginger tests the word on his lips. He looks up at Mickey then. “And who are you?”

“I’m Mickey, what’s your name?”

“Ian.”

“Ian.” Mickey says it, but it comes out more like ‘Een’ from his baby mouth. 

“I saw you come in here with that other boy. The bigger one.” Ian nods down into the darkness of the cave. 

“That’s Iggy my big brother.” Mickey remembers now, that Iggy’s been gone a while. He hopes he’s okay. 

“Oh, I got one of them.” Ian smiles now, that they have something in common. 

“Does he got a tail too?” Asks Mickey, but it’s as Ian nods that they hear it. 

“Ian! Where’d you go Ian?!”

Mickey watches Ian’s head whip around and he looks worried. “Oh no, that’s Lip. I wasn’t supposed to swim away, it’s our first trip out without Fiona.” He looks nervously between the mouth of the cave and Mickey. 

Mickey doesn’t know who Fiona is but he doesn’t want Ian to get into trouble. “Then why did you swim away? Now you’re gonna get beat.”

Ian looks at him curiously. “Fiona wouldn’t beat me, that’s not nice.” (Mickey wishes it were that simple.) “I saw you and I wanted to talk to you, that’s why.”

And that’s all it takes for Mickey’s face to fill up, bright red. No one ever wants to talk to him, ‘cept Iggy sometimes. He wonders if this is what it would be like to have a friend. They hear Lip shout again and so Mickey leans over, pushes at Ian’s damp shoulder. 

“You gotta go Ian, don’t get in trouble for me.” 

“Will I see you again Mickey?” Ian looks at him even as he’s backing up, Mickey can see his tail swishing to keep him afloat.

“I hope so.” Mickey smiles, pleased and warm when Ian smiles back at him. He watches, awed as Ian drops vertically down into the water, tail fin popping up and giving him what Mickey thinks is a wave. 

Mickey waves back, watching Ian’s iridescent tail and flaming hair swim away. 

“Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can!” Iggy pops out from the dark of the cave as Mickey scrambles away from the water’s edge, smile firmly in place.

It’s when they’re in the car on the way home, Iggy asleep and drooling on his shoulder that his mom smiles at him in the rear view mirror. 

“You look so happy my Mickey. Did you have a good day?” She looks a little worried and he wants to hug her but she’s driving so he knows he can’t. He settles for the truth. 

“Yes mama, best holiday ever.”

***

He doesn’t visit the beach again for a few years, Larisa can’t afford it and Terry behaves well enough that he doesn’t get locked up for more than a couple of nights in the drunk tank at least. 

He thinks about Ian a lot though. He wonders sometimes if he imagined the whole thing but he knows he hasn’t, he knows that Ian’s out there now somewhere swimming around. It doesn’t occur to him to give what Ian is a name until he walks in the house to find Mandy entranced by something on the television. 

“Eh, Mands.” He plops down on the couch next to her. “What’s this?” He’s intrigued by the flame red hair, the tail just like Ian’s. He sits forward in his spot getting a closer look. 

“Ew Mickey you can’t like Ariel like that, stop staring. She’s in love with the Prince anyway.” Mandy shakes her head, bouncing her stocking feet on the couch cushions as she watches Ariel swim around the statue of Prince Eric.

“Shut up.” Mickey’s face reddens deeply. He hasn’t been looking at whatsherface like anything at all, but she looks like Ian and its excited him. He’s never seen a—well, he doesn’t know what she is.

“What is she though?” He looks back to Mandy who’s grinning at him. 

“She’s a mermaid silly!” Mandy chuckles.

Mermaid. Mickey repeats the word in his head but realises that it’s the feminine version of whatever Ian is. 

“They got boy mermaids in this thing?” He doesn’t look back at Mandy now, she might only be nine but she’s a Milkovich, so she’s not an idiot. She’ll question him soon if he continues asking her stuff. 

“Um, well yeah. King Triton’s Ariel’s dad and he’s a merman I think.” She shrugs and Mickey knows he’s got to let it rest now.

“Cool. Well, this is for babies. See ya.” He stands, edging past Mandy who kicks him in the thigh for the baby comment before Mickey high tails it to his room. 

Once safely alone he digs around the back of his third dresser drawer pulling out a sketchpad and some cheap pencils his mom managed to wrangle him from the local craft store. He flicks the sketchpad open, flips past scribbled sketches of guns and houses and his mom smiling in the kitchen. The last page is a carefully sketched drawing of what he remembers Ian looking like. He started it months ago but was saddened to find he couldn’t quite remember the exact green blue of Ian’s eyes, or the colours in his tail. It’s a pretty good sketch though and he’s proud of it. He’s written Ian’s name underneath it (and he can say it properly now ‘Ee-an’) but he adds to it after a moment’s thought.

_My friend Ian, the merboy._

***

He’s thirteen before they go back to the beach again. It’s a celebratory holiday. Terry had died three months earlier, shot during a drug run that he dragged Jamie on. Jamie’s doing time and Terry got cremated in the cheapest coffin his mom could find. She’s been the happiest he’s ever seen her since, except for that one day when they’d found out.

_Larisa is sat on her bed, sleeve to her eyes as she cries. It stumps Mickey as to why, Terry was horrible to her. He never saw him give her love once and he doesn’t understand why his mom would be upset to hear that he’s finally dead._

_But, as he watches her through the crack in the door, she’s his mother and he loves her more than anything and if she wants to be upset about it, if she **needs** to be upset about it, even for a little bit, Mickey is more than happy for her to do that. _

_He doesn’t want her to do it alone though._

_He holds her tight to his chest as she cries into his best sweater. He pats her dark hair, presses his lips to her temple and tells his mother he loves her._

She’s grinning in the driver’s seat now, Mickey squashed up against a happy Mandy who’s singing along to some Bonnie Tyler song as they speed down the highway. Mickey looks out the window and he can see the blue of the ocean and his heart starts to beat faster. He really wants to see Ian again, wants Ian to remember him. Wants Ian to have thought about him as much as he thought about Ian. 

He doesn’t have to worry long. 

They hit the beach as soon as they park the car, Mandy kicking off her sandals as she digs her feet into the sand. Iggy’s rolled his pant legs up and is trying to _‘tan those bitches’_ , which earns him a crack on the back of his head from Larisa. 

Mickey waits all of a long minute before he finds himself running down to the seashore. He stops, right before the waves lap up the beach and then realises he has no idea if this is where Ian lives all the time or how he’s even going to get a hold of him if he does. He kicks his feet in the sand before he decides to head to the cave, picking up pebbles on the way. He chucks them out into the ocean as he walks, hoping against hope that Ian will turn up. 

He enters the cave within minutes and it’s funny how it looks so much smaller and less threatening than it did when he was five. He chuckles quietly as he seats himself by the same stretch of still water.

He almost falls in the water in shock when he hears that lilting voice again.

“You shouldn’t throw pebbles in the ocean Mickey, you might hurt something.”

He turns, biggest brightest smile on his face as he spies that sodden ginger hair again, pushed back this time as Ian’s freckly face swims closer. 

“Ian.” He breathes, he’s so relieved. He feels that longing tug in his chest ease. “Hey.” He blushes now at his own obvious enthusiasm.

“Hey.” Ian smiles, propping folded arms on the rock in front of Mickey. “Miss me?” These green blue eyes are full of mischief that does nothing to temper Mickey’s hot cheeks. 

Instead he leans forward, pulling his eyes away from Ian’s face as he looks at that gently swishing tail again. It’s less colourful now, more of a uniform green but still just as iridescent. Ian sees him looking and floats on his back for a minute to lift his tail out of the water.

“It’s greener.” Mickey muses as Ian flips backwards into the water smoothly, popping back out of the water to rest his arms against the rock again.

“The older we get the more our tails settle for one colour. Green’s not bad, Lip’s is purple and it looks stupid with his hair.” Ian grins, laughing.

“I like green.” Mickey scratches at his own neck, clearing his throat at the admission, pleased when Ian’s eyes squint in a contented smile. “So my sister Mandy was watching ‘The Little Mermaid’ right--” Ian raises an eyebrow at him, confused. “Oh, of course you won’t have TV. But anyways, there’s this film and its got a redheaded mermaid in it and she reminded me of you so I figured that must mean… you’re a merboy.”

Ian grins, nodding his head at that. 

“We call ourselves merrow but when you translate it--” he tilts his head like he’s approximating a nod “—that’s a pretty good translation.” 

“So,” Mickey sits back on his backside now, damp seeping through quickly “how did you know I was here? Did I actually hit you with a pebble?” He grins as Ian chuckles lightly. 

“No I er--” And Mickey is fascinated now, watching Ian’s face fill with colour “I swim around here quite often, I might have popped up every few days to check if you’d come back.” He mumbles it into the skin of his crossed arms, Mickey catches it though and it warms him through to his bones.

“You’ve been checking for me every few days for like--” he does the quick maths in his head “eight years?” His tone is incredulous, he can’t quite believe it. 

Ian’s brow furrows and he grumbles as he pushes away from the rock, circling away from Mickey. “Not much else to do here but check the beach out.”

“Wait, wait!” Mickey shouts, throwing his arms out to stop Ian leaving. He desperately doesn’t want Ian to leave. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean anything bad by that. I was just--” _pleased, happy_ “surprised. Nobody ‘cept my ma cares that much man.” 

“Oh.” Ian floats back over happily now, easily pacified which Mickey thinks will work in his favour if this friendship, this _relationship_ (and don’t get him started on that word) is going to last. “Well, I missed you Mickey. I don’t have many friends my own age.”

Mickey is floored by Ian’s open honesty and thinks he could learn a thing or two from Ian. His dad’s not around anymore to judge him, hell why not give it a go. 

“Missed you too man.” 

They smile dopily at each other for a bit before Ian pipes up. “Hey, do you wanna come swim with me?”

“What?” Mickey panics, looking around at the deep stretch of water Ian’s floating in. “Nah, nah man. Don’t wanna.”

“Why not?” Ian pouts and Mickey feels his resolve crumbling readily. 

“Don’t laugh at me, but I can’t swim.” Mickey admits, expecting Ian to laugh. 

“Oh, that’s okay. I can teach you.” Ian smiles.

Mickey looks at him, looks at the water and then looks down at himself. He can feel his heart pounding out his chest but he can already feeling himself giving in. Trusting this kid who he barely knows, a merboy at that. 

In for a penny, in for a pound.

“I don’t got swimming trunks though.” Mickey starts kicking his sneakers off, peeling away his layers until he’s left in his ratty boxers and his tank top.

“What are those?” Ian queries, head tilted. 

“Never mind.” Mickey mumbles as he drops his feet into the water, scooting himself towards the edge of the rock. “Fuck, don’t know if I can do this Ian.”

“Course you can Mick. I got you.” Ian smiles at him, placing hands on Mickey’s waist and holding tight. “Just drop yourself in.”

“Don’t let me drown Ian.” Mickey grumbles before taking tight hold of Ian’s shoulders and sliding himself fully into the water. The water laps around his neck as he throws arms around Ian’s neck, pulling them closer together. “Holy shit it’s cold!”

“Is it?” Ian grins at Mickey’s chattering teeth. “I guess I don’t feel it like you do.”

“Obviously not man, think my balls have shrivelled up and died.” Mickey kicks his feet back and forth, careful not to collide with Ian’s swishing tail. “We gonna move before I freeze to death?” 

“Sure Mickey.” Ian smiles before prying Mickey’s arms from around his neck.

The stretch of water is big enough that Ian can manoeuvre Mickey around well enough, getting him to kick his legs to propel himself through the water while Ian keeps him steady and afloat with his hands. _‘I just flick my tail but you’ve got two of those so, kick ‘em both Mickey, one after the other.’_ Ian isn’t going to win any teaching awards but Mickey only gets a tiny amount of water up his nose when Ian lets him drop too far so he can’t knock him. 

He’s on his back floating with Ian’s hands under his neck and above his ass when Ian offers something new.

“Hey, you want to try something new? There’s some cool stuff I could show you.” Ian grins at him, giving nothing more away.

Mickey’s trusted him so far and lived to tell the tale, so he nods his head. He lives to regret it quickly when Ian pulls him upright in the water and grabs both his hands as he descends below the water’s surface. 

Mickey doesn’t have chance to catch a breath before they’re submerged and any air he did have in his lungs rapidly comes streaming out, bubbles obscuring his vision for a few seconds before he pulls away from Ian’s hands, kicking madly to get back to the surface. His head pops above water but he only has a couple of seconds to drag in a breath before gravity takes its course and pulls him back under again. He hasn’t mastered treading water yet, panics as he breathes in a lungful of salty water.

Hands grip him firmly again, tugging him up and out of the water and over to the rocks edge where Ian drapes him so he won’t sink again. Ian holds him to it, patting his back as Mickey splutters and coughs all the salty water from his lungs. He can smell the salt every time he tries to breathe and it’s not ridiculously unpleasant, bar the whole drowning thing.

He slides himself carefully back into the water with the help of Ian’s hands, turns carefully as his feet continue to tread water, wraps his arms around Ian’s neck to hold himself steady. 

“What happened Mickey?” Ian’s green eyes are flitting between his, confused and concerned. “Why’d you drink all the water? You weren’t meant to do that.”

Mickey saves any scathing comment, swallows it along with the leftover water he’s still coughing up. “We--” he shakes his head to try to stop his sodden hair from dripping into his eyes. “We can’t breathe underwater.”

“Well, what do you do then to swim down there?” Ian nods downwards, towards the deep blue that surrounds them. He looks confused, brows furrowed and Mickey wants to rub the wrinkle lines away with his finger.

“We… well I’m not sure exactly.” He shrugs with difficulty in Ian’s arms. “We just have to hold our breath and then we can stay down but not for very long. We gotta come back up pretty soon.” He looks at Ian now, head tilted. “How do you do it?”

“I’ve got gills.” Ian says and makes it sound so perfectly normal that Mickey feels bad for not understanding. 

But only for a second.

“The fuck’re gills?” He squints, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Don’t do that.” Ian reaches a hand up, still holding Mickey steady as he brushes a finger over Mickey’s brows to settle them. Mickey reddens at the touch, it’s exactly how he wanted to touch Ian but he doesn’t tell him that. “Fiona says if the sea churns, your face will stay that way.”

“Wouldn’t make a difference, not with my mug.” Mickey laughs, but it’s not all that funny.

“I think you’ve got a nice face Mickey.” Ian says it and it’s said with such honesty that it makes Mickey blush. He changes the subject quickly.

“So, what’re these gills then?”

“Oh, here. Look.” Ian turns his head to the side then and Mickey can see what look like sharp slits in his skin, three of them right there on the side of his neck where he’s not thought to look before. He slides a hand back, runs his forefinger down them but they just feel smooth to the touch. 

“I don’t get it. How do they help you breathe?” He pokes one of them now and Ian pulls back giving him a dirty look.

“I’ll show you but you gotta do that breath holding thing.” Ian warns him.

Mickey readies himself, inhales deeply, cheeks pushed out like a puffer fish before he nods at Ian, signalling his readiness. Ian is much slower this time, their descent is steady and perfectly straight which Mickey finds funny. He keeps his eyes open which is struggle at first but they adjust quickly to being underwater. He watches as Ian turns his face to the side again and that’s when he sees the skin moving, up and down and he can just about peek in and see the pink flesh on the inside. 

Ian’s pretty iridescent there too. 

He watches for a minute as Ian turns his head to and fro, showing him both sets of gills on either side and Mickey is entranced until he feels his heart speed up, feels his lungs start to pull for fresh air. He tugs the hair at the back of Ian’s head, nods upwards and Ian understands immediately, carefully swishing his tail and letting them emerge from the water where Mickey releases his slightly soggy breath.

“That’s pretty cool.” He breathes. 

“Thanks.” Ian grins, pleased.

They don’t say anything more, they’re both simply staring at each other as they float calmly there in the water. It’s not until Mickey feels the tingle in the back of his nose, has the forethought to turn away before he sneezes loudly, the sound echoing around the cave.

“Bless you.” Ian says and Mickey doesn’t ask how he knows what a sneeze is. He thinks he’s always going to be confused about Ian. “Is that a good sound?”

“Um, not really.” And that’s when Mickey starts to realise just quite how cold he feels and then his teeth get the message and promptly start to chatter. “I’m pretty cold Ian.” He grimaces, not really wanting to cut their time short but he knows he needs to get out. “I think I’m going to have to get out of the water.”

“Oh, okay.” And while Ian does look a little sad he seems to understand and helps Mickey get his wet body situated on the slippery rock. “I don’t want you to get sick Mickey.”

“Thanks.” Mickey shakes himself off, deciding to tug on his dry clothes over his fairly wet body. It’ll be better than sitting and waiting to dry. 

It’s while he’s pulling his t-shirt on that they both hear it. It’s faint and far off but it’s clear to Mickey at least who it is. 

“That’s Mandy.” Mickey looks quickly towards Ian as he plops down on the rock, starts tugging his sneakers on. “My sister. She’s looking for me.”

_“Mickey?”_

The sound is closer now. Mickey leans over the side of the rock, dipping down closer to his friend. “You gotta go Ian.”

“Why? Is your sister not nice?” Ian squints at him.

Mickey thinks about it for a second, but he doesn’t have to think very long. “No, she’s nice. You’d probably get on like a house on fire.” He doesn’t wait, even when he sees Ian open his mouth to likely question what the hell that means. “But I just—I want you to--” And he doesn’t know how to say it, doesn’t know how to explain to Ian that he wants this thing, this friendship to himself. He doesn’t have many of his own things and he’s loathe to give this up.

Ian seems to understand perfectly though. He propels himself further out of the water, surprising Mickey as he throws his arms around Mickey’s neck and speaks directly into his ear. “Okay Mickey, I understand. Try and come back and see me soon, yeah?” And with that, Ian promptly kisses his cheek and disappears down into the water with barely a splash. 

Mickey doesn’t have long to wait before Mandy wanders in, slipping precariously on the wet rocks. “Here you are, ma’s been looking for you. Iggy wants to go up to the arcades and ma says we should all go and we might be able to get candyfloss.” She grins happily at him, excited at the prospect of a treat.

“Yeah, sure Mandy. I’m coming.” 

Mickey presses fingers to his cheek right where Ian kissed him. He looks down at the water, clear and merboy free. He promises Ian silently that he will, he’ll come back soon.

***

“You know your version of soon is wobbly at best.” Ian grins as Mickey sticks his middle finger up at him, regretting the decision when his feet lose their pace and he dips in the water enough to swallow some of the saltiness.

“Fuck you fish boy, I do my best.” Mickey knows it’s been a long time, he’s felt it every year they’ve been apart. But he’s sixteen and he’s finally got his license ( _‘why do you look so miserable on that- what do you call it Mick?’, ‘license Ian, and that’s just my face, don’t knock it’_ ) and the first thing he’d done? 

Plan a trip to the beach.

He turns in the water, tired and a little cold now. He’s been practising his swimming in the grotty local pool a lot more in the years since that first lesson with Ian. He’s confident enough now to swim out by himself, even dives a little and watches Ian twirl under the water like a fucking dancer. 

He’s beautiful, but he doesn’t tell him that. He thinks Ian can see it though, he can’t lie to him for shit. 

He pulls himself up onto the closest rock, can feel Ian’s hands gripping the backs of his thighs to help push him up. They’re back in their cave, their ‘spot’ Ian likes to call it. Mickey can feel his face flushing red as Ian’s hands linger before slipping away so that he can feel every press of Ian’s fingers. As he settles, Ian places his folded arms across Mickey’s legs and peers up at him. 

“Are you warm Mickey?” Ian tilts his head, eyes searching his face.

“What? Nah, water’s fucking freezing man.” Mickey grumbles. The waters not that cold but Mickey shivers anyway. 

“Then why is your face so red?” Ian questions inquisitively. 

This only serves to make the blood rush to Mickey’s face even quicker now, he can feel it spreading to the tips of his ears even as he scowls, eyebrows furrowed down at his friend. 

“Fucks it to you? What you looking at me that hard for anyway?” 

“I like your face Mickey.” Ian says and it’s so simple and Mickey can find no ounce of embarrassment from Ian at all. “I like you.”

Mickey freezes, his entire body stiffening. He knows, he always known as long as he’s consciously known what attraction is that he likes boys. It isn’t something he talks about, _with anyone_ , because Southside is not the place for openness and Mickey knows that but maybe-

-maybe here is different.

“Are you okay Mickey? Your face has gone the same colour as my hair.” Ian looks up at him and it distracts Mickey enough that he looks down at Ian who’s staring up at him now with some concern.

“Yeah, yeah m’good.” He mumbles, sucking his lip into his mouth as he bites at it, deciding. “I like your face too Ariel-” he watches Ian scowl gently at the nickname “-I like you too.” Mickey finishes quietly. 

It’s quiet for a second, the only sound the splash of Ian’s tail before he feels himself being pulled off the rock and dropping heavily back into the water. He manages not to swallow the cold saltiness before he pops back up, shaking the excess out of his hair as he grips Ian’s shoulders for balance.

“What the fuck Ian, what you do th-”

He’s cut off by the press of cold, wet, _soft, soft_ lips against his own. He struggles, panics for a second as he pulls his head back only far enough to bump noses with Ian who blinks at him, green eyes watching him intently.

Mickey licks his lips. “Salty.”

Ian’s laughter is loud, bright and the nicest thing that Mickey has ever heard. 

***

It’s a year later that he lets someone fuck him. 

He’d been visiting his uncle Ronnie with Iggy and Mandy, they’d been out at a bar and this guy had offered to buy him a drink. The red hair should have been a warning sign but Mickey chose not to heed it. 

Fast forward two hours and half a bottle of Jack later Mickey is face down in this guy’s sheets, fingers up his ass deeper than he’s ever been able to get them himself. The guy is good with him, he hadn’t expressly told the guy he’d never bottomed before but he’s nice enough, gentle enough that it doesn’t hurt past the discomfort.

It feels weird, it feels good. It feels like a betrayal.

He can’t help but think about Ian, what it would be like if it was Ian behind him, Ian grunting into his back (and Mickey doesn’t know how you have sex with a merboy, but he’s thought about it and boy is that kind of disturbing). 

But it isn’t Ian, it’s Jason who isn’t Irish, he’s of Scottish heritage and his family emigrated over to the States generations ago and- _‘I don’t need to know your fucking ancestry, we gonna fuck or not douchebag?’_ Mickey had breathed drunkenly into his face and that had ended that conversation. 

He feels a sweaty hand slide up his back as his thighs tense and he thinks of Ian and of a year ago when Ian’s arm was around his waist anchoring him in the water, fingers of his free hand sifting through his hair as they kissed and kissed and kissed until Mickey’s lips were deliciously sore and all he could taste was Ian. 

He doesn’t stick around when they’re done, as soon as he’s got his breath back and realised how much he’s sobered up and how in this harsh bedroom lighting that red hair doesn’t look as strikingly red as he remembers in all his best memories, he’s rolled off the bed and started tugging his clothes back on.

“You not sticking around?” Jason runs fingers up Mickey’s spine, dropping his hand when Mickey arches away like a cat. “Was good. You felt good right?” Jason drums fingers against his sternum as he lays naked, watching Mickey buckle his belt. 

“Gotta go man.” Mickey chooses not to elaborate, stuffs his feet into his sneakers without doing up the laces. He’s about to leave when he feels Jason grab his wrist, spin him around with hands on his waist as he sits on the edge of the bed looking up at Mickey. 

“You could stay, I’d make it worth your while.” He grins and Mickey appreciates just how attractive he is. How hazel his eyes are, how pink his lips look, how much he isn’t Ian. Jason leans up but Mickey’s hand is quicker, squeezing his cheeks together just enough to get him to stop moving.

“Kiss me and I’ll cut your fucking tongue out.”

Mickey leaves with more on his mind than he’d care to think about. 

***

Mickey’s sat on the beach, staring out at the sea. He’s been here for over an hour, but he hasn’t yet ventured out to their spot. He can’t bring himself to head to the cave, can’t bring himself to see Ian yet. 

Ian knows he’s here, Mickey’s seen him. At least he thinks he has, splashing around in the distance. From here it would look just like a disturbance in the sea, at least to anyone not privy to the information Mickey is. He knows he has to talk to Ian, he just has to ready himself first. 

He’s not sure he’ll ever be ready. He resigns himself to this as he sighs, heaving himself up off the hot sand, bare feet slipping through its softness. He heads towards the cave, sees the splashing in the ocean following his path some metres out. 

He’s already tugged his jeans legs up as he sits and dips his feet into the water, followed moments later by the emergence of that ginger fucking hair he loves so much. 

This fucking shit hurts.

“Mickey.” Ian floats in front of him, concern marking his brow. 

Mickey breathes deeply, taking in that salty ocean air he’s come to appreciate. He rubs a hand against his damp neck, fingers brushing his hair as he speaks as honestly as he can.

“I love you, Ian.”

It’s there now, out in the open and Mickey isn’t surprised when he realises that Ian doesn’t look shocked by this information. Ian’s face is instead, sad, resigned. Ian doesn’t speak so Mickey does.

“I love you. You’re my best friend and I love you and you’re a fucking fish!” Mickey hits the water with his open palm, sending the splash of icy water over Ian who doesn’t even flinch. “Fuck! This is so fucked up.”

There’s a moment of silence where Mickey pinches the skin of the bridge of his nose before his eyes open, taking in Ian’s face. He’s angry, tail swishing beneath the water harder now causing more than rippling at the surface. 

“Well how the hell do you think I feel Mickey!” Ian shouts at him, turns his head in anger and grits his teeth and Mickey can’t help but drop open his mouth at the realisation.

“You love me?” He asks and he can’t believe it, might not believe it even if Ian says it. 

“Oh Mickey,” Ian turns back now, features softened. “Of course I do. I love you.”

“But I can’t live in the ocean.” Mickey whispers, and he watches as Ian shakes his head sadly. Mickey thinks he sees tears in his eyes but he can’t be sure. Ian _is_ the water as much as he lives in it. 

Mickey can’t stop himself from doing it if he tries. He throws himself into the water, into Ian’s arms, clothes and all. Ian catches him easily, long freckled arms wrapping securely around him as Mickey kisses him, breathes all that he is into Ian’s mouth. They stay connected for seconds, minutes, Mickey doesn’t know how long. Their faces don’t move more than an inch away from each other even when Mickey has to breathe. 

“If there was a way-” Mickey swallows, mouth dry even when he’s surrounded by water. He’s so scared of the answer. “If there was a way for you to live with me, up there on land--- would you?”

Ian blinks rapidly, eyes looking away, to the water, to the mouth of the cave before finally back to Mickey. 

“Would you? Live here with me in the ocean?”

“In a heartbeat.” Mickey doesn’t even pause to think. “Aint nothing for me here.” He knows Mandy would be fine, that his mother would mourn him and Iggy would miss him but they would survive. “Don’t dodge the question.”

Ian is silent and Mickey’s heart drops.

“I knew it.” His eyes fill with tears and he’s ashamed of himself, ashamed of his heartbreak even when Ian’s squeezing him like he doesn’t want to let him go.

The water has never felt so cold. 

***

Mickey closes the door on his new apartment and looks around at the meagre amount of boxes now littering his living/kitchen area. He wanders through them, flicking them open to look inside at just how little he has to decorate his new home. 

His mom had cried when he’d been approved for the apartment and he’d held her tight while she’d sniffled into his shoulder. She’d helped him as much as she could with the deposit even though she wasn’t exactly rolling in dough herself. She’d not tried to talk him out of the move either, even though she’d told him how much she’d miss him and for that he was grateful.

_‘You’re sure Mikhailo?’_

_‘I’m sure mama.’ He watched her sniffle back her tears, waterline brimming._

_‘Okay my Mickey. You’ll always have a home here though, you know that right?’ She gripped his upper arms, shaking him a little for emphasis._

_‘I know, I’ll probably be back every other week. Be like I never left.’ He grinned as she shook her head, pulling him in and squeezing him to herself._

_‘I’m going to miss you. You’re my baby boy.’_

_‘Ma,’ he drawled into her shoulder. ‘Cut it out, I’m twenty years old.’_

_‘Always be my baby boy. Now how much is the deposit?’ She looked him in the eye, blue gaze as steely as his own._

_‘No ma, you---’_

_She slapped a hand less than gently over his mouth._

_‘You arguing with me my boy?’_

_He shook his head clearly realising this wasn’t the time to argue._

_‘Good, now let’s look over this lease agreement.’_

And that had been that. Mandy and Iggy had helped him move, Iggy helping him with the heavy lifting as Mandy told him what colour he should paint the walls (black was a viable option for every wall apparently). He liked green though. Green like Ian’s eyes, green like the shimmer of his tail.

Fuck, he missed him. 

It’s been over a year and he hasn’t been back to the ocean. He’d left Ian that day, heartbroken and cold. He’d heard Ian call for him but he hadn’t turned back. He’d known it would never work. Fuck, it wasn’t even the fact that he was a merboy. What did Mickey have to offer anyone?

He hears the distant sound of ringing but it doesn’t register for a solid minute and a half that it’s the buzzer for his apartment. He swings around peering at his front door as he sees the corded phone attached to the wall.

Picking it up he places it to his ear. “Erm, yeah hang on- I just--” he fiddles with the handset before pressing the button that unlocks the apartment door downstairs. “Oh wait, Ig? Mands?” There’s no answer and he figures they’ve walked straight on in. He wonders lightly if he should’ve checked who it is, but it’s not like he’s got a bunch of friends to invite round. Besides, no-one knows where he lives yet. 

The rap on the door follows shortly and he scowls as he goes to yank the door open. “You’ve just fucking been in here, what you knocking for lazy asses---” He’s pulled up short when he looks up to find a very tall, very attractive red head standing in his door way.

“Hey Mickey,” Ian waves and Mickey has to hold onto the doorframe to keep himself standing. 

“What the fuck.” He looks him up and down, he’s got to be 6ft at least, he towers over Mickey who can’t take his eyes off his skinny jean clad legs.

His legs.

“What the fuck Ian?” Mickey stares at him wide eyed. He can feel his eyes burning, the tears are forming and he’s not quite sure why. Ian’s here. He never thought he’d see him again.

“Sorry I’m late.” Ian mumbles. He takes one tentative step into Mickey’s apartment but his caution is thrown to the wind the second Mickey sobs from the back of his throat. “Don’t cry Mickey, I’m sorry.” Ian throws himself at the shorter boy, wrapping strong arms around his shoulders.

“I’m sorry Mickey, I’m so sorry. I’m here, I’m here.” He mumbles it into the skin of Mickey’s neck, pressing lips to soft skin again and again. 

“Ian, Ian, Ian.” It’s all Mickey can muster as he tightens his arms around Ian’s frame. 

“Ssh, I love you Mickey. I’m here now. I’m here now.”

***

They’re laying fully clothed on Mickey’s mattress on the floor in his bedroom. Ian keeps running his fingers over Mickey’s face, smiling as Mickey kisses his thumb every time it brushes his lips. Mickey on the other hand keeps running his hand over Ian’s thigh, pressing it to his knee every now and then before he finally looks up.

“How?” It’s all he asks but Ian understands. 

“Turns out that you don’t need a sea witch after all. Sides, I don’t have a great singing voice.” 

Mickey thumps him gently though he can’t help but smile at Ian’s grinning, happy face. He stores it away to question him later on just when he’s watched ‘The Little Mermaid’ and what he thought of its depiction of merpeople (what can he say, he’s intrigued).

Ian sobers up, smile slipping away as he stares at Mickey softly. “I was miserable when you left--” he places fingers over Mickey’s lips to stop him from interrupting “-I couldn’t deal with it on my own. Ended up talking to Lip about it. I told him about you. He was pretty pissed with me at first, we’re never supposed to interact with anyone outside of our own kind. But he could see how miserable I was without you, thinking I’d never see you again. You wouldn’t have come back.”

Mickey can’t deny it, so he doesn’t. It would have been too hard, too much to see Ian but not be able to be with him. He’s quiet, letting Ian continue.

“He gives me shit but he’s a good guy.” Ian swallows, snuggling closer to Mickey who wraps arms around him. “He did some research, talked to some of the ancestors of the Sirens of old. They’ve long been rumoured to be able to take on human form. It took weeks but we finally got lucky. It wasn’t pretty though.” Ian’s nose scrunches up in distaste and Mickey shakes his lips free of Ian’s fingers.

“Why, what did you have to do?” He places a hand on Ian’s cheek, providing what comfort he can.

“I had to beach myself. We found a secluded part of the beach and I got up on the sand and waited for the tide to go out. I had to essentially dry myself out. Thought I was dying, felt like it.” He says it softly but Mickey can see in his face that he can remember it clearly. He squeezes his cheek, leans in to brush his lips against Ian’s softly. “Once my body had dried out I felt like I couldn’t breathe, like you must’ve that first time you went underwater. My gills sealed up and I thought I was gonna die until I breathed in this massive mouthful of air, the way you do. I looked down and my scales were all falling away, my fin had dissolved into the sand and then I had these.” He wiggles his legs for emphasis.

“Whoa.” Mickey is amazed and can’t quite wrap his head around this whole thing. “You did all that for--” He cuts himself off feeling shameful and presuming.

“For you?” Ian smiles, leaning in himself now to kiss Mickey once, twice. He brushes their noses together. “Yeah I did, ‘cause I love you.”

Mickey’s face flushes bright red but he’s happy, so happy.

“It wasn’t pretty though, that first few weeks. I was literally a fish out of water. Kept walking into things or falling over. You know these things fall asleep if you sit on them for too long?” He pats his leg for emphasis. Mickey laughs when he thinks of Ian wandering around trying to get the hang of his new legs, he’s sorry he missed it.

“How’d you find me anyway?”

“Well, years ago you’d told me about where you lived and I managed to find the city. The – the Southside place that you talked about? Took me months to actually track someone down that knew you though. Found some guy in a bar, Colin? He didn’t look very happy that I was asking, but when I told him we were friends, that I wasn’t out to get you he was more helpful. Told me you were moving into your own place. Kinda nice guy.” Ian smiles.

“That’s one of my idiot brothers.” Mickey smiles though. “I’m glad he told you.”

“So am I.” 

“Will you—will you stay here, with me?” Mickey averts his eyes, focusing on Ian’s shirt collar.

Ian smiles at him, pressing his lips to Mickey’s as he rolls on top of him covering him completely as he slips his tongue into Mickey’s mouth. They’re quiet for a few moments, enjoying the connection as they kiss, hands slipping over each other’s bodies. 

“I’d love to Mickey. Please.” He kisses him again, once, pulling away slightly before Mickey can make it more. He looks him straight in the eye and it makes Mickey blush with the intensity. “You know its not that I didn’t want to go with you Mickey. That day, when you asked? I just--- I had a lot to think about. My family, they mean a lot to me. But you mean the most. It just took me time--”

“Don’t.” Mickey shakes his head because it doesn’t matter now, it’s a distant memory to the Ian that’s now tangible in his arms. “You’re here now. It’s okay.”

***

It’s days later that they first fuck. Neither of them can wait much longer than that, even though this is all new to Ian.

Mickey has Ian on his back and they’re both stripped bare, eyes travelling over each other’s bodies. Mickey swallows hard as his hands follow his eyes and he takes Ian cock in his hands.

“Fuck, this is what you got given when you ditched the tail?” He strokes his hand up the length of Ian, taking in the softness before his eyes flick up to find Ian’s eyes screwed shut.

“Oh that feels so good Mickey.” Ian bites his lip hard, skin pulled taught around his teeth.

“Yeah, s’gonna feel even better in a minute.” He grins. 

He rides Ian into the mattress that evening and even though it’s essentially Ian’s first time and Mickey isn’t exactly well versed in the art it’s the best sex Mickey’s ever had. (Ian says it’s his too, even though he has nothing to compare it with. Mickey half-heartedly slaps his ass, too tired and sated to do more. Ian whispers love into his skin and Mickey can’t find it in him to be anything but complete.)

***

They’re sat on the couch, cuddled up together under a spare duvet watching an ocean documentary as their Christmas lights twinkle around them. Mickey snuggles himself further down into Ian’s chest, he’s never been much of a fan of the cold except when it affords him the opportunity to bask in Ian’s natural magma like temperature ( _‘You’re super-hot like, all the time’, ‘what can I say, it’s just my natural looks’, ‘yeah, yeah gingerbread, laugh it up’_ ).

He feels more than hears Ian sigh, chest heaving. He peeks a look up half covered by the duvet to find Ian watching the television sadly.

“Hey,” he grips his chin, turns his face to look at him. “What’s wrong freckles?”

Ian sighs, looking like he’s making a decision as to whether to answer honestly to which Mickey raises his eyebrow. Ian relents, pressing a soft kiss to his lips before he speaks. 

“I just--- I miss the ocean Mick. I miss my family.” 

“Oh.” Mickey understands, he does. He gets to see his family often and they love Ian, they do. No-one seemed to be surprised when he brought a guy home, least of all his mother who treated Ian like one of her own from day one. But Mickey knows it’s not the same. “You--- you should go see them.”

Ian looks at him closely, sees nothing but honesty in his eyes.

“You’re my family too you know Mickey. Always.”

“I know that Ian.” Mickey smiles, nodding. “Doesn’t change the fact that they are too. You said if you go back into the ocean your tail will reform, right?”

“Mm, that’s what Lip said. Works both ways.” 

“Then you could go.” 

“I could, couldn’t I?” Ian grins, arms wrapping around Mickey’s waist as his legs lock around him. “Yeah, let’s do it. We’ll go this summer.”

“We?” Mickey raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah, we. I want them to meet my guy. Besides my little brother Liam is gonna love you, I know it. Besides, you gotta keep up with your swimming practice or you’ll forget how.”

Mickey thinks about it for just a second but if he’s honest with himself, there’s no question really.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll come. I’d love too.”

“You would? You’d really come with me?”

“Ian.” He tugs himself further up Ian’s chest, hands splayed against soft, stubbly cheeks as he kisses him softly, gently. “I’d swim the entire ocean for you.”

**Author's Note:**

> There we have it, I'd love to know what you think. Come flail with me about Mickey and Ian and tails and merboys [@matchst-ck](https://matchst-ck.tumblr.com/)


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